Be Who You Are

Creative Leadership Conversations program in Chile

2011-12-28T13:47:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed working with amazing people in Chile. It has been a wonderful experience. I am delighted that the toolkit we developed has reached different countries and many more people.

CCL was invited by Vertical to facilitate a Creative Leadership Conversation (CLC) program for 23 staff, consultants and coaches. Vertical is a multi-faceted entity that is part expedition company, part training and development organization, and part foundation for the social good. Vertical believes that these agendas as interlinked. In its work, Vertical guides people on journeys that generate new insights and learning and trace paths to greater social contribution.

For the program, Vertical wanted to convene its staff and partners so they could get to know each-other better and forge a shared vision for the organization moving forward. The CLC model uses conversation as a means for co-creation. Beginning with an exploration of identity and values, the process flows towards envisioning new futures. Participants learn and use the core coaching skills of listening, inquiry, and feedback along with a set of tools that can be used to anchor conversation. It helps to deepen the awareness of oneself, creates deeper bond among participants and provides knowledge, practices and tools.

The 2.5 day program was facilitated by Philomena Rego, Janet Carlson, and Lyndon Rego and delivered – thanks to simultaneous translation – in Spanish. We started the program by setting intentions for our time together. We used memento activity to introduce ourselves to each-other. This brought forth much emotion as people spoke of family connections and loss from the Chilean earthquake and tsunami. This kind of open sharing, we learned, is not so common as there is a wariness about being open. There is a Chilean expression known as chaquetero that means pulling another person down by their coat tails. It is manifest in a tendency to be critical. The CLC program was a process that took the participants in the other direction. It is about appreciation, support and abundance. It is about dreaming about possibilities and exploring how to bring them to life.

By the end of the program we heard that experience was powerful. Participants said it helped them to reconnect with themselves and each other. They had a greater appreciation for what it was to be a part of an organization like Vertical that values people. They felt that together they can make a difference. They expressed how this methodology could be used more broadly in Chile, in government, in communities, and with youth.

Chile is undergoing a period of volatility as young people take to the streets in protest about the cost and quality of education. The CLC model, we heard, can give people a voice and help enable constructive social engagement. There is much need to democratize leadership in Chile, a country that is affluent but with pervasive social inequity. With Vertical we are exploring a number of ways to carry this agenda forward in Chile.

Is Elementary School too Early for Leadership Development?

2011-12-28T12:55:00.000-08:00

During the close of the school year, Philomena Rego and Laura Weber conducted a one-day leadership program for 47 5th graders at an arts-based elementary school in Winston-Salem, NC. The program was designed to bring closure for these students as they moved forward to middle school and create an opportunity to appreciate what they gained from elementary school while identifying their leadership skills which will help them adapt to middle school.

The focus of the morning was creating greater awareness of how experience shapes identity and how their school had played a major role in these experiences. These experiences are some of the building blocks for their leadership development. The training design was learner-center and experiential. Throughout the day we wove in artistic concepts to align with the schools’ mission. Following the traditional Leadership Beyond Boundaries Leadership format, we started with o Social Identity mapping (SI) for the students to begin understanding themselves at a deeper level. The SI map has three components, the “Core” which represents who we are at our truest self, “Given’, which represents unchangeable aspects of ourselves, and then the “Chosen” component represents what we what to have in our lives.. We were amazed by what the students put in their ore – to help others, be an authentic leader, to be a good friend, etc. They were asked what Social Identity has to do with leadership. The responses we received got at the essence of what we hear from adults, the 1) the need to know ourselves so we cannot understand others , and 2) knowing our values and what is at our core we can better connect with others. We closed out the morning with a memory walk. The students walked around the school and identified something they wanted to remember that influence their Social Identity and that they wanted to take with them from the school. Self portrait?

After lunch we focused on how they want to be in the middle school and what would help them in this transition. The students were asked to pick a Visual Explorer image card that represented the leadership qualities that will help them to make their first middle school year the best year. The key ideas presented by the students were developing listening skills, having the courage to stand up for their values, and understanding others. This activity helped them think how they can take responsibility to make it a great year for themselves. We also wanted to help them voice concerns they might have. The students were asked to come up with the skit regarding their concerns or fears about middle school and how they would use their leadership to overcome these fears or concerns. It was interesting that most of the students came up with the skits that represented bullying, not being understood by the teacher, or being pressured to do something they didn’t want to do. At the end of each skit we explored what could help them create a positive outcome.

Finally we had a closing circle where each student shared a learning they got and how they were going to apply it. Some spoke about their understanding of their Social Identity and how that will help them in their new school, others spoke about their memory walk and what they want to keep, and some shared the learning from their skit and about not to allowing others to bully them.

What we found was that elementary school is not too early to help young people think about themselves as leaders through exploring their identity, what they stand for, what they hope to become, how to relate to others, and to see life as a journey marked by passages that offer experiences and learning. It was a great learning experience for us as well and fun to engage this thoughtful and energetic group.

Anger

2011-04-19T19:37:00.000-07:00

Recently I was reading this book “Peace is Every Step” by Thich Nhat Hanh and the chapter on anger captured my interest. Here is what he wrote “When we are angry we are not usually inclined to return to ourselves, we blame the other person who is making us angry”. This is a powerful statement or thought.

I found myself challenged since I am in this place more often than I would like to admit. Almost by default I tend to focus on the other person as to what they did or did not do that triggered my irritation. This leads to me feeling more angry or resentful and I end up making up a story about this person and exercising judgment rather than curiosity or compassion. As a result what does it do to me? I get angrier. I become unable to be rational or see things from their perspective and unable to engage the other person. It totally blocks my creativity since my energy gets used up on these negative feelings.

Thich Nhat Hanh explains it beautifully wherein he says we must be like a fireman who pours water on the blaze first and not waste time looking for the one who set the house on fire. This can mean taking a pause before reacting when angry. It can also mean not letting ourselves into situations, like being overly tired or hungry, that can give us a short fuse. We can also create more peace by doing things that make us feel more relaxed, whether it is meditation or exercise. Also, focusing on what triggers anger will create the awareness and the ability to feel the emotion. This is so that we can manage our emotion rather than the emotions managing us. The other benefits of feeling our emotions is it keeps us grounded and are able to deal with it in a shorter time frame. We increase our ability to be mindful, to reflect what the emotion is telling us and develop a deeper understanding of ourselves.

I invite you to practice focusing on the emotion you are feeling rather than focusing on the person who is making you angry. Journal your learning to further develop this new mindset.

Leadership Development Program in Jamaica

2011-04-06T06:09:00.001-07:00

Recently I facilitated two different programs in Jamaica. One was for Management Institute for National Development, where I facilitated a Leadership Essentials program. The second one was for Caribbean Health Leadership Institute using the Creative Leadership Conversation approach for mentoring skills training. I was quite struck by the passion and desire and the eagerness of each group to learn in the service of self and others. You can read both these reports on the blog, http://www.leadbeyond.org/.

Leadership development provides an opportunity to turn the mirror inward and create greater awareness of values, beliefs/ limiting beliefs, strengths, challenges and our own mindset. It helps us expand and stretch. It was amazing to see how each of the participants were eager to embrace this learning so that they could live authentically and help others to do the same. They were all eager to put the new learning in practice on their job and with their teams.

Being present and connected

2011-04-05T18:32:00.000-07:00

Recently I spent few days with my daughter and couple of my friends at a spiritual center, which also happens to be at a beach. It was a great time to reconnect with self and be in the NOW. One of the questions I have been working with is: How connected are we to our self when we are busy trying to get to the next thing? Where is this drive coming from? Is it from that deep place within, our purpose, or is it driven by the external? When I am connected I am able to notice the difference or else I get caught in the rat race and moving from one job to another. As a result the NOW just happens without our awareness.

There is a great link between the NOW and connection to oneself. When we are in this place of harmony with both we are able to experience the present moment and notice what is going on with our emotions, thoughts and our spirit. Focus on your breathing as often as possible during the day to be grounded in the NOW and be in the flow of connectedness. What a great way to enhance your EQ. When one is connected one can appreciate and enjoy life, in spite of things not going the way one wants, and learn from it. If this practice is developed one will not have to wait to get away to be in the NOW.

Building the Capacity for Collaboration with Public Health Leaders in the Caribbean

2011-02-06T12:52:00.000-08:00

This is a repost from the Leadership Beyond Boundaries site on a mentor training program I did in Jamaica for public health leaders.

Tzipi Radonsky, Philomena Rego and Pat Williams used the Creative Leadership Conversation toolkit to help prepare public health leaders to grow their skills as collaborators and mentors. The two-and-a-half-day program was hosted by for Caribbean Health Leadership Institute at the University of West Indies in Kingston Jamaica and attended by participants from across the Caribbean: Bahamas, Barbados, Belize, Dominica, Jamaica, St. Kitts, St. Lucia, and Trinidad & Tobago.

The 15 participants were doctors and senior public health administrators working on the frontlines of HIV/AIDS. In their work, they shoulder great responsibility and are charged with tackling a spectrum of public health challenges that involve an array of stakeholders. The ability to build relationships and shape collaborative outcomes is imperative as is the urgency to get things done. Said one participant before the program:

“The major challenge is not having the patience to listen and let the mentee or the other people formulate a position or take full charge of the situation, and endure or enjoy the consequences. It requires an ability to both pull back and to be strong and frank giving an honest assessment, whether this is praise, compliment or correction. I have a tendency to “smooth over” some circumstances, adopt a protective posture or just do it myself.”

The mentor training methodology used the Creative Leadership Conversations toolkit to help participants learn to engage others in a constructive, appreciative and developmental way that builds shared ownership and leadership. The program provided the public health leaders with the opportunity to learn and practice essential coaching and mentoring skills, and equipped them with key leadership concepts and simple yet powerful assessment tools they could use for mentoring and collaborative work. The program wove together coaching demos and practice sessions so that the participants had the immediate opportunity to practice new techniques in peer- based learning groups as soon as they learned them.

The participants found the experience powerful, personal, and practical. In the closing reflections we heard that it was an “enthralling, inspiring” experience that used practical methods that were “perfect examples of adult learning.” The peer discussions, participants said, brought forth “issues of significance that were hidden.” We were urged to “continue to promote this new paradigm of mentorship” and use the low-tech, high touch methods that characterized the program.

With programs conducted in India, Ethiopia, and Jamaica, we’re delighted by the power of this methodology to transform people’s ability to think more expansively, engage respectfully, and seek collaborative outcomes.

Creative Leadership Conversations in Ethiopia

2010-08-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

I recently conducted a coach training session in Ethiopia for the Leadership Beyond Boundaries effort. It was an experience I enjoyed very much. Here's a post filed on the Lead Beyond blog:

The methodology used the Creative Leadership Conversations Toolkit to help participants learn essential coaching skills, key leadership principles, and half-a-dozen simple but powerful assessment tools. The two-day program included multiple opportunities for the participants to apply the skills learned in a cascading series of coaching sessions conducted in learning teams.

The participants found the tightly woven experience powerful and forged strong bonds with their learning partners. Some of what they shared at the conclusion reflected both personal and professional learning:

“I am feeling I learned both professionally and personally that I have everything I need. It has been two powerful days for me. I had a big breakthrough in my group and make a commitment to hold and be held accountable by my group.”

“I feel I am turning in a new direction. The experience was great and moving, powerful. I need to open my heart and let the change in. I never thought about me in the same light before and it became very clear to me. I feel I found my direction.”

“Good energy! I learned that human beings can apply the coach approach in so many ways.”

The last comment speaks to the intention of the Creative Leadership Conversations methodology that coaching techniques can be used to develop others and also to foster greater understanding and collaboration between individuals. The participants in the program expressed a intent to apply the learning to work with school teachers, to initiate coaching through their training organizations, and make changes in their personal lives.

I am looking forward to the next program we have planned for Jamaica.

Creative Leadership Conversations in India

2010-08-31T17:47:00.000-07:00

This is a cross-post from the Center for Creative Leadership's Leadership Beyond Boundaries blog:

The Leadership Beyond Boundaries effort has launched a prototype of the Creative Leadership Conversations toolkit. This is a resource to help individuals use “the Coach Approach” to engage in purposeful conversations that may be about developing leadership capacity (coaching and mentoring) or enacting leadership (collaboration, co-creation, and conflict resolution). The toolkit offers knowledge, practices, and tools that can be used to transform how we engage. The process begins with relationship building and developing an understanding and appreciation of the perspectives and needs of others through deep listening, inquiry, and feedback. It then flows into engagement to envision and enact a course of action that is energizing and empowering to all involved. The toolkit is the product of a collaboration by a team of CCL coaches, Tzipi Radonsky and Philomena Rego, and Pat Williams of Coaching the Global Village. Philomena recently tested the toolkit with a group of nuns in India. She filed this report.

“I had the opportunity to run the first test of the toolkit on two different groups of nuns in India. These religious workers surrender personal lives to be of service to others. They are tasked with great demands and limited resources. I recognized that leadership development could help them reconnect with their purpose and gain skills to be more effective in their work. While I had interacted with this population before I had never done any leadership development and was not sure how it would be received.

The first group I worked with was a team of nuns running a HIV/AIDs treatment center in Goa, India. This group of nuns had spent over 25 years in religious life. I started by setting an intention for us to have an open mind as we stepped into unfamiliar territory. Initially they found the coaching methods difficult and challenging. Yet I was encouraged to observe that they were open to be vulnerable as they struggled with new concepts. As the program unfolded, there was deep sharing of personal identity and struggles and the openness to receiving insights and feedback from others. At the conclusion of the program, the group made a commitment to develop an approach of engaging others in a different way — to suspend judgment and be curious about alternative perspectives. A week or so later, I heard from the person in-charge that she has noticed a difference in how the nuns had been using this new practices in changing how they were interacting with each other, the other staff, patients and children. Some of the participants who were least expected to change had changed the most. As the toolkit methods are designed to be shared with others, one of the nuns planned to do a short program for others who hadn’t been able to attend.

The second session I did was over a day in Bangalore, India with a group who were involved in education and development for marginalized women and youth. These nuns had been in religious life between 5 – 11 years. The material transferred really well and they got a chance to practice the skills with each other. Even though the participants felt that it was not enough time, they felt comfortable to take the practices to the groups they work with. Their superior said that the participants had gained a different perspective on how they could work and this would help them become more effective leaders in the community. I am encouraged by the power this tool to shift the nature of engagement and enhance the lives of people so dedicated to improving the lives of others.”

Next, we take the Creative Leadership Conversations toolkit to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, where we will be running a Coaching Essentials workshop for a group of professionals who intend to bring coaching to the social sector.

Celebrations/Graduation

2010-07-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

Last month my five-year old had her graduation ceremony. It was both a happy occasion and a realization that she is growing so fast. As we approached graduation, there was so much excitement and a wonderful energy in the house. The countdown to the event took place everyday nearly a month in advance. My daughter was prepared for what she called the Big Day well in advance. It was amazing to see her bubbling with joy and excitement and she wanted everyone to be a part of her celebration.

While I was witnessing all this one thought that popped into my mind frequently was: what happens to us adults regarding the events in our lives. In my own life I realize that so little time is spent in celebrating all the achievements big or small. I noticed the same pattern with my clients, friends and family. We hardly spend time in celebrating or relishing what has occurred. We quickly move on to the next thing. What do we miss by not celebrating? Celebration energizes everyone, and helps mark our growth. It gives us positive emotion, creates high frequency vibrations and brings us together with others to honor our achievements.

How about remembering to celebrate the little things in our day-to-day life and allowing the child in us to come out more. You’ll see what a big difference it makes.

Letting go

2010-03-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

Change involves learning new things. Yet, the greatest change is often about letting go. It may be the way we do things, the way we think, the way we feel. It may be fears, habits, judgments, hurts, victimizations, attachments, attitudes, and beliefs that are not serving us. Letting go is hard and scary since holding on feels like we are protecting ourselves.

On day-to-day basis we must challenge ourselves to let go of the behaviors that are no longer bringing us the life we want. So, what is one small thing are you ready to let go today? What is something that is creating stress or imbalance? It could be something small to begin with or something that robs you of your joy. Or it could be a thought that pops up all the time and reminds you, you are not good enough, not smart enough, or not doing enough, or not bold enough and so on.

Letting go of what gets in our way brings us more freedom, peace and joy. Giving ourselves permission to let go allows us to grow and trust that we can grow. We don’t have to be perfect. We have a choice to let go and empower ourselves to create the life we want.

The Power of Appreciation

2010-03-07T08:54:00.000-08:00

A video that will make you smile!

Validation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao&feature=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao&feature=player_embedded

"Validation" is a fable about the magic of making others feel good about themselves.

Work-Life Balance

2010-02-17T19:49:00.000-08:00

We often hear about work-life balance. When I hear this phrase it seems that our being consists of just two areas -- work and life. So what do we mean by life? It seems that our health and well being, family, love/romance, recreation/leisure and fun, our physical environment and spirituality are all lumped under a single label: life.

How can we bring more attention to the things that give us energy? What is it that I do that nourishes me? Do I spend enough quality time with my family and friends? Do I make time to reflect, meditate, journal, exercise, read, dance, listen to music or play music or do what I love at least 3 to 4 times a week if not everyday. What am I doing to live a life of purpose, meaning and fulfillment?

Being singularly focused on work can take you away from things that really matter. Furthermore, when we don’t take care of things in the life category, our work suffers. We are most productive and efficient when we are relaxed, so remember to take time to relax your mind and body so that you can give your work your best. Some tips: When you are working on a project, take a lunch break away from your desk and go for a walk and admire nature so your mind is having a break too. Or have a lunch with your colleagues and do not talk about your project. You will be surprised that little break will stimulate the creativity in you and bring in new ideas, new energy, and inspiration from nature or your co-workers. Albert Einstein said, “You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” Sometimes we need to get away from work to break out of our same mind and thinking patterns in our work. Your “life” matters to your well being, and paying attention to your “life” brings your best self to work.

Words that will change your life

2010-01-29T17:53:00.000-08:00

I have been experiencing the power of journaling recently. It is something I’ve done off and on, and been repeatedly drawn to and been resistant to in the past. As the saying goes what you resist persists. I am now journaling regularly and starting to get a lot out of it.

On the surface, journaling is a way to capture the passage of life and our own thoughts and feelings. Yet once you put these down on paper, it gives release to our unexpressed emotions and provides healing, it helps us make meaning of what’s going on, and produces new learning and fresh perspectives on concerns and issues. It helps us stay grounded and remember what matters most. As a record of our lives, it allows us to see how far we’ve come, and what patterns seem to repeat. Over time, it raises our mindfulness and consciousness.

So what holds you back from this powerful practice? If you’re like me, it may be a sense that you do not have time for it. Yet, the value of journaling is greater when we make it a daily ritual. It is an easy way of giving ourselves some personal attention in life’s busyness, allowing us some quality time with ourselves.

Don’t you deserve a little time for yourself? If you need a simple practice to get you started, how about capturing one thing that you appreciate about the day and what you’re grateful for over the next 40 days? This precious book will deepen your awareness and appreciation and maybe even help you rewrite your life. Write away and write to me. I’d love to hear what you learn!

What is it to accept and love myself?

2010-01-03T15:17:00.000-08:00

This is the season for giving. Here’s a gift I’ve chosen to give myself. Perhaps it is one you might consider for yourself too.

I have been asking myself how I can contribute more to this world? My reflection provided this response, “to accept and love myself so that I can do my best.” This does not mean that I do not need to change unhealthy behaviors. It means being considerate with myself while I am developing and growing in wisdom. It means being mindful of my own negative self-talk and to seeing how little it is serving me. So when I am in a space of being self-critical about something I instead ask what I can learn from what happened and what I can do differently in the future.

I want to invite you to notice if you are being adequately loving and accepting of yourself? If you do find that you are pulling yourself down take notice. Consider how you can be as kind and encouraging to yourself as you would be to someone you love.

Falling Forward

2009-12-02T18:41:00.000-08:00

My 5 year-old was playing on a high chair and she fell backward. She came to tell me about her misadventure and after I ascertained that she was not hurt my initial thought was to tell her that she should be careful. She is a daredevil who is often climbing up and leaping off things. But I stopped myself and instead asked her what did she learn from this?

Unfortunate things happen all the time in life and we can focus backward and get hung up on the failure, disappointment, and blame, or look forward and ask ourselves what can we learn. This shift is empowering because it enables us to focus on something positive: the future and what we can do differently. It enables us to grow from hardship and mistakes rather than be diminished by them.

I imagine that this week will bring you unexpected disappointments and difficulties. When this happens, pause to notice your responses/feedback towards self and others. Then take a breath and gently turn and ask yourself, are these thoughts empowering/energy giving or energy draining/disempowering, what can I learn from what happened and what can I do differently in the future.

What's Your Purpose?

2009-11-10T17:49:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, I facilitated a session for about 20 women at a church. The intention for the session was to develop a deeper awareness of our life purpose and to be aligned with that purpose. We started the session with the acknowledgement that each of us is born for a purpose. We explored this in depth by reflecting back on the times when we were living our purpose fully and exploring with a partner what was going on in our lives and how we felt. When we are living our purpose, the group noted, we feel deeply fulfilled no matter the difficulties and obstacles. To look forward to deepen our clarity about our individual purpose, we used a picture-based tool named Visual Explorer. This helped us focus on the essence of our purpose and what we need to do to live more in tune with this purpose. For the participants, this brought a sense of clarity and connection to their core and what they could do to recommit to what matters most.

In sharing this with you, I invite you to find a little quiet time and think about a time when you felt completely in tune with your purpose? How did you feel? What was happening in your life? What were you doing? Write them down. When you look at the list, do you see thing you were doing that you’ve somehow lost? Perhaps it was volunteering for a nonprofit. Perhaps it was time spent in meditation or in prayer? Perhaps it was time spent with our children? Is there a way you can revive a couple of those practices? As we create the shift, we can live more fully our purpose in life.